Learning To Walk The New Terrain

By Oliver Mbamara

    Recently, I had reason to spend a few days with a relative of mine. It was my first time being at the place. Of course, the residence was set up in a manner different from mine but the stairs and stairway were particularly rugged. For the first few times that I hurried down the flight of stairs to the lower level of the house, I slipped on the rug and fell. I was fortunate not to get hurt but I didn’t have to wait for an injury to occur before I learned a safe way of descending the stairs. 

Incidentally the rug wasn’t actually slippery. At least members of my relative’s household descended the stairs with ease and without any fall. After pounding myself a couple of times on the floor, it began to register with my consciousness each time I approached the stairway, to slow down and walk down the stairs more carefully. Once I adjusted my approach in descending the stairs my descent became smooth and I stopped “slipping” or “falling down” on it. Now I look back at it all and laugh.

Human Nature And Self-examination
Many times in life we move to a new job, a new place, or we start a new project, relationship, task, or we are faced with a new challenging situation. Characteristically, we apply some of our old habits and mannerisms to the new situation since we are not yet familiar to the new situation. That is human nature. However, in many cases, our old ways turn out to be incompatible with the new situation we are faced with. Incidentally, we either encounter difficulties in dealing with the new situation or we even crash and fall. Sometimes, the initial difficulty discourages us from continuing with the new situation or our fall is such that we cause serious injury/damage to the new situation or ourselves. However, many other times, we are fortunate to recover from the initial fall and given the opportunity to adjust our attitude or our approach. 

Certainly, some new situations could be so hard to overcome that one is better off retreating and reconsidering. It requires wisdom to know when to give up and when to push forward if one seems to have hit a dead-end in any given project or situation. Yet, for the most part, one’s attitude and approach in dealing with the situation requires more examination than anything else. Self-awareness is therefore essential for it could be an offence against the self for one to be unaware of the self.

While some of us are able to recognize the fact that our initial falls or discomfort with any given new situation exist as a result of our attitude and approach to the new situation, some of us fail to own up to the role of our attitude or approach. Instead, we look for someone or something to blame for our falls and difficulties with the new situation. Inevitably we either continue to fail or we crash and end the chance we could have had to make good.

The New And The Old
Several proverbs and/or idioms that apply here have existed for ages. The Christian bible says: (paraphrase) “you do not add new wine to old wine for the old wine would spoil the new wine and all becomes wasted.” The Ibos of southeastern Nigeria say: “a new song (or music) is danced with a new step.” They also say: “a new acquired chicken mostly hops (or walks around) on one leg until she becomes familiar and comfortable with the new environment before she settles down on both legs.” When I was a young boy growing up in Nigeria, my colleagues and I love to read those inscriptions some folks have on the body of their vehicles. One interesting inscription goes as follows: “no condition is permanent.” Another one says: “tomorrow is pregnant.” Perhaps I could venture to add that, “the scarcity and hardship of today’s planting season will someday give way to the abundance and bounty of tomorrow’s harvest,” yet, “the celebration of tomorrow’s harvest is dependent on the effort of today’s planting.”

The Constancy of Change
It has been said that the only constant thing in life is change. Life is constantly filled with new challenges and situations and whenever we finish dealing with one situation or challenge, we are faced with another. Such is life and without it, life would be boring. A new situation does not usually become as comfortable as the old one overnight. This is one of the reasons many of us stay hooked to a habit or situation. We are either afraid of the new situation or we are oblivious of the new approach required by the new situation. Interestingly, when we step up to the plate and face the new situation we usually overcome it and that adds up to our experience in life. 

Patience, hope, faith, determination, and practical work are some of the virtues that could be very helpful whenever a situation becomes too challenging. Truly, these virtues could be difficult to maintain when we are in the midst of a challenging situation but we have to try if we seek to triumph. Eventually, when we have conquered, mastered, or become familiar and comfortable with the situation, we are rewarded with the joy of progress and/or achievement. Looking back at such situation(s) we could then casually laugh at it or at ourselves. That is the fun of it all. 

This One Too Will Pass
It is a cardinal principle of life that every individual has a situation he or she is dealing with at every moment in time. At some point in time, that situation will also pass. It will become history. Whether one will then look back at it with laughter or whether one will look back at it with regret, depends on how one deals with it at the present moment he is faced with it. Pausing for a moment of self-reflection could go a long way. 

This is only my understanding and I am still learning.

This One Will Pass

Jittery at first
Uncertain at best
Hard it is, facing the test

Facing the odds
We hurt our toes
We pound our backs

It’s like a game
And we must choose
To play with care

If we must win
And wish to gain
We must own our own 

To make the start
To clean our act
We (must) face our act

For life to pass
Changes will pass
And this too will pass.

©Oliver O. Mbamara, April, 2007

Oliver Mbamara is an Administrative Law Judge for the State of New York. He is also a filmmaker and a published poet and playwright. He is originally from Nigeria but now based in New York. For more on Oliver Mbamara, please visit www.OliverMbamara.com 

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